Transition, Adoption, Bonding Part I

I have not met anybody in the situation we are in, readying a little toddler for his new family. But if you have found this blog because you are in a similar situation, I hope this can be a blessing.

It's an interesting place to be, not to mention what my heart is going through. But that is for another day. One of the social workers keeps calling  this "reunification" but I fail to see how this is reunification when he has never lived with them. This is different work. We are sending this child to a family and environment that he knows nothing of. Everything is going to be different to him! The sights, smells, foods, and sounds are quite a change from what he has grown used to. And being that he is so young, nobody can explain any of this. How does one get a toddler ready for a huge transition such as this?

Ten years ago, we did this exact same thing with a  young toddler of the exact same age!  The big difference is that we were on the waiting side. We had no idea if the orphanage was showing our daughter the pictures that we sent and tell her all about us. It was a long challenge for us as we waited for Esther to accept that she was now our daughter and a part of our family. It came very gradually. Some things we learned along w the way with pictures were/are:


-A picture is worth a thousand words. It turns out the orphanage had shown Esther the pictures. The first time she saw her room, the look of recognition was all over her face.

-Photos should include each member of the family, family pets, every room including bathroom and kitchen, car, carseat, backyard, and front yard. It's even nicer when the new family are in the pictures. When we did this with Esther, we also had a small doll in each picture. When we met her, we brought her the small doll. To this day, she calls it Kookla. With Baby M, we are using a Kiwi bird. He already has a stuffed Kiwi bird sent to him by his new family. When he sees the pictures he points to the Kiwi and then wants to hold is Kiwi. (So precious!)

-Positive and enthusiastic words and tones are essential  when showing the photos.  This allows the child to feel good about accepting his new family.

-Photos should be shown to the child at the happiest times of day as often as possible.This way the associations are happy and positive. Meal times and snuggle times are what we use.

-Praying for the new family along with the child is always a good thing!